Nothing You Could Do Would Break This

written by cin for Lenora and Gary, on the occasion of 50 years of marriage.

I told myself in high school I would never marry.

I would certainly never have children, and

since I was from New England that was that.

Then I met you and our future unfolded

into an unforgettable three-day wedding,

two miraculous daughters, and

getting to spend the rest of my life

next to my best friend.

Apparently, that wasn’t that after all.

When we chose each other

that second of two summers

at Ridgecrest Baptist Conference Center,

a maid and a music and worship leader,

just seventeen and twenty-one,

we chose each other for every summer.

We chose each other

for as long as we both shall live.

This poem has one truth

and it tells the fifty-year story of us:

I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not.

You are my happiest ending

to every beginning.

You surprise me, balance me,

evolve me, love me

each day, as I am.

Even when I’m filled with rage.

Even when I’m shaking in doubt.

Even when I don’t love me,

especially then, you love me.

I am safe to be all of me with you,

so I am safe to be all of me with me.

That has made all the difference.

We are made by each other, as much

as we are made for each other, and

every day, you woo my best self

out of my best hiding spots.

And you know what I love most?

You do that for everyone.

The opposite of rule-follower,

you are heart follower, inviting us

to know the joy and aliveness of

making things up as we go along.

Our life together is bolder,

gentler, and surprisingly gregarious,

because you invite all that’s holy

into every moment.

I have lived a much better life

because I’ve lived it next to you.

Creativity, community, ritual,

compassion, these write

the sacred song of our lives.

We are the music and the lyrics.

Do you see the throughline here?

You’re the one I can’t live without.

In the first year of our marriage

we made the biggest decision

of our marriage: With one argument,

we erased “divorce”

from the vocabulary of us.

Our next greatest marriage tip?

Learn to serve a shit sandwich.

Contact us for the recipe.

As we age, ever so humbly,

into another decade of ourselves,

may we grow together even as

we decay together, rejoicing

in the still true truth of us:

I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not.